ROXANNE (;

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I left my post for so long.
For so long, i've not typed a word.

I've got something to say.
But they all seems so hideous.

Those words are hideous.

Leave it.

writtern @1:55 PM

Friday, November 27, 2009

What feelings do you have before unfortunate things befalls on you ?

For me, my heart will start to flutter !
My heart will race like mad and totally feeling, wow. There's no hot guys in front of me, but i'm feeling so hot and can see how my heart beats out of my chest. (idk how to describe!)

A lot a lot a lot of things came bothering me one by one. Again, i'm feeling down at this moment of my life. Yes, again.

Some literally bad things happen was,
when i woke up, i feel my heart's racing badly!
Lay on the sofa and lie on jessy's lap. However, she was bending down and my head literally falls hard down to the ground. I totally can feel that my blood was dispersing from that part of my skull and the brain was pounding like boom boom pow! And the smell in my nose can feels that i'm gona have some bleedings or something and totally can feel that i'm gona have concustion!

WOW! It HURTS!

terribly : (

Walk out for lunch with jesslyn and mom.
After that went to sheng siong to buy her hair dyes.
I fall down the stairs RIGHT IN FRONT OF the market. HOW COOL WHEN I GET STARES AND NO ONE HELPS ME when all they could only say is " AIYOOOO!"

Mak cik are pathetically screwed, seriously. But guess what i did. I laughed! What's worst, JESSLYN FIRST SAW ME FALL AND ALL SHE DO WAS LAUGH OUT AS LOUD AS SHE CAN! There, that shows how she create the scene of my embarrassment. Asshole.

Not only i stand up fine. I KNOCKED MY HEAD WHEN I STOOD UP.

IT'S TOTALLY WHAT THE SHIT AND SCREWED.

Done with my ranting.
My heart wont flutter for hot guys, but it's just a sense of unfortunate things befalling.

OUCHHHHHHHHH!

my life hurts more than how i bump my head and knees. : (

writtern @5:38 PM

Thursday, November 26, 2009

It would be just fine if i had a big cry over things that's bothering me now.

Then, i'll just forget about the matter and move on.

My heart had sank down terribly deep.
Immerse down with the souls.

writtern @10:14 PM

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I didnt know i hurt so many people.

I didnt know i was so selfish in doing things.
Neither did i know i was that bad in my ways of handling things.

You know, sharing is an offence in my dictionary now.
Tell me how to share more when things happen like that ?
How to, you teach me ?

I want to be flithy rich.
Just wait for my day.
Fuck today because i had my worst.
But this isn't worst, aint gona show what's in me.
Because none of you show what's in you.

So if one day i ever see someone showing everything of you,
then i'll be the one undressing my stuffs in front of you.

writtern @2:14 AM

Monday, November 23, 2009

HAHAHAHA!
I'M LAUGHING AT MY SILLYNESS NOW!

You know. Nostalgia ?
Yes, nostalgia. When i'm starting to reminisce now.

MR CHARLES TJH!
RMB YOU ONCE SING TO ME WHEN I WAS LYING ON UR CHEST AND I WAS SO SICK ? ON MY BED AT 9.30PM ON A SATURDAY!

I told you, i'll never forget that day you once sang to me. During the two yrs of relationship, you never once sing with me nor did you sing it for me when i'm sick.

Just the thought of it really makes my heart jump a lot.
Well, hope you get well soooooon!
Dont hope you have last stage of cancer k, that's retarded.

You'll be just fine, just fine.
You'll still get to open a business after your NS and still get to reservist till you're old ok ! Haha. Okay, seriously. NINI IS HEARING MY HAPPINESS NOW.

Chocolate didnt make me high.
But you did. Cheeseburger did!

:D

The colours didnt fade.
It still lives in me.

writtern @2:22 AM

Sunday, November 22, 2009

It's happening again.

Maybe, things change. People change. Everything changes even your heart change. Your mind, your soul, your companion..... They changed. It may be for a better one. Or may not. But still, I'm still feeling that tiny winy heartache for it. Okay, maybe not tiny winy. But, yea. I still get those heartaches.

Someone, everyone's gona start de-coding my blog again. Sure they dont understand anymore. Haha. But oh well. Just writing whatever coming to my mind.

Watched a movie before. The couple were together for yrs. And they parted for 3 yrs without contacting one another. But coincidentally, they met each other at a very weird circumstances. Yet, none of them forget how much they loved one another. Fate played them, and they were fooled. They took one big round to where they live happily ever after.

I dont wanna be the one, who get fooled, being played at then i get to live my happily ever after. In fact in this world, there's no happily ever after. I never believed it even since i was young when i knew about Cinderella's story.

And why just cant human brain be wiser ? Why cant just human brain links up to the heart where they'll talk as one ? Feel as one ? And be one when it comes to something to make a decision for the future of "happily ever after."

FTW. You understand what i'm talking ? I'm trying to be detailed and making it simple to understand uh. If you still cant, IDK WHAT TO DO BUT JUST FTW OK! :D

And bloody hell, WHY SHOULD YOU FTW GO BOTHER OTHERS WHEN THAT PERSON YOU CARE DONT EVEN FTW CARES WHAT U'RE DOING OR THINKING?

My new word - ftw. Which also means, fuck the way. HAHA! People use it " for the winners" dont they ? I MAKE MY OWN AR ! So ftw bebeh! :D

Okay, disappointed really. Cant describe how much i care for that person which that person is the only one i can go till the extend where maybe no one else could except my bff. But, that person wouldnt care less (or more?). Idk man. But really, just ftw man. Idk why i'm thinking or feeling or saying these either.

Didnt i said people are born to embeliish their life ?

Should i really start from now?

But, i just cant.

Because till now, i still have yet to get a definite answer.

Well oh well.

writtern @2:57 AM

Friday, November 20, 2009

It just wasnt me nor you.

It wasn't more of me today. Or was it, it was more of me today.
Somehow, i didnt have the touch of myself lately ? Or has it been this way all the while. Am i really losing direction of where i'm heading in my life ?
Losing direction of where i'm walking ? Losing faith in myself ? Losing confidence in whatever i do and somehow, i never brings out myself ?

In fact, am i really feeling this way ? I'm feeling nothing and that makes me scare. Am i a robot or something that i have no feeling towards how life is ? Or just pretty much that my life's a mundane and there's nothing i can do about it ?

I know there'll definitely be things waiting for me. Out there, Right ahead. It's just that, i realise i wasn't walking towards the sun anymore. I wasn't walking towards the light. Towards the hope everyone's longing for.

Is there even me in the picture.
The best thing i can ever draw is,
the sun.

Sorry for being tilted,
but this is what i do when i see paintings and drawing blocks.
Nothing came to my mind, but just like that.
How fugly it is. But it portrait something.

I just want a loving house with the sun shining towards us, each day, everyday and single moment of our life so we'll never be lost and never will be in the dark, anymore.

writtern @1:14 AM

Thursday, November 19, 2009

You're a little obsess with me
I'm a little bit scare of you.
Look at the way you stare at me
Maybe it's time i let you know

You can call me 6 times but still i wont pick up the phone.
You can spend all your money on me but still i say NO!
You can write a MILLION letters EVERYDAY CONFESSING TO ME.
That i am the girl of your dreams.
But nobody ever asked me,
I never looked at you that way.

Cause i always thought you were gay.

You told me lies and you made me believe
It would be fine if there was nothing to see
I would be undressing in front of you
I told you secrets that no one else knew!

I'M DAMN PISS.
BUT I GOT NO IDEA WHY I'M STILL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-ING.

SIAO LIAO!

writtern @3:03 PM

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

OVERNIGHTY!

I brought my babies to boma's place actually. Brought 3 babies bolster, baby tiger and my blanket. Lol. But when i was sleeping, everything was used by Nini. -.-!

That's when the night comes! Madness gets in.

This wasn't all!

Dressed over tooooo! >)

Next day,

first to showered! Camwhored while waiting >.<

Look like a sec 2 girl in this pic!

Boring KFC

NEXT UP LG EVENT!

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

writtern @8:07 PM

That inspiration.

Life is imperfect and unbeautifed. Thus you're born to embellish to make it perfect !

I lost this part of my life till now i realised it's nothing but yet, it's something.

I came out these phrase on my own.

My mind just keep working though i aint feeling anything that's happening. Like, i dont think my life's imperfect thus i made up that sentence.

I dont think i lost any part of my life and yet i made up that sentence.

Inspiration i guess.

I find it's meaning to me, it doesn't have to be you anyway.

Off to bed, Nightsy.

And yes, i got complained at work. Haha! Never ending stuffs and 30 more days to receive pay which falls on my bday. What an ass!

writtern @2:48 AM

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What again?!

Ok, the two girls who was mad (3rd is me) to do these at night!

More pictures gona be up soon, lazy to upload in fb too

Waiting for the boring night to arrive and i'll upload slowly. Haha.

So anyway, wanna talk abt being single and feeling free.

Nope, not really free. Still under control.

But just thinking, Single but still loving the person you once loved or still loving. It doesn't mean get back, will give u the same happiness.

Neither does it mean patching back, will give u the same love u once used to have.

This makes me think a lot. What's more, even if we still love one another. We can still date and hold on to each other. But it's just that we can have no status, no possession of you or me.

Ok, is this how it's defined ?

Ok, love is just that complicated.

So what if you even go by how you feel.

You won't get what you want either because NOTHING goes smoothly through your way.

It's retarded by how you just feel because you dont think either!

From what i'm saying now, my lights are blinking. It seems that i'm in a wrong topic now.

BAHH!

NIGHT NIGHT!

writtern @2:32 AM

I'll be back for overnighty at bomb's place !
And somemore i think.

Gotta get to work tomorrow at fortcanning 6-11pm.
With that boots and ugly outfits.
Bet i'm gona get some complain from tmr!

Till then! :D

writtern @2:15 AM

Thursday, November 12, 2009

A day out with family! <3

Jessy and me FOREVER like that. Didnt know she came into the picture actually. DAMN CUTE WHEN I SAW THE PIC! HAHA! Minnie and jessy head!

Then the camwhore starts.

Uh huhs!

She's in her swimming costume and i'm still drinking yakult watcing teevee! Haha!

SO CUTEEEEEEEEEE!

Okay, off to carpark and get some ass squeeze!

Luckily change to BMW.

If not my ass would have cramped :(

Mt faber safra :D

After swimming.

The progress of jessy's swimming and the everything is in her camera.

Guess it wasn't upload yet :D

She eat two egg all herself lor. SELL FISH!

Then dinner! We were all so tired from the swim! Our eyes were literally half closed while waiting for the food!

Ooops! We're still at yakun. HAHA! WRONG CAPTION(for the above pic)!

Ok. this is the dinner venue!

Told you. We were all tired sucking thumb! >)

You know what!

I've been sleeping 4am or 5am lately. Not lately, FOR A WEEK FOR CHRIST SAKE!

This is shingz you know! Complexion defenitely drop from 70% to 10%.
Pathetic. Been cooping myself at home lately and out with some family members. Everyone's flying away going overseas to get some fun! Me?! I wanna go JB shop shop shop shop.

But everyone's broke. And how am i able to go to JB. -.-! Stinks.

Okay, someone's gona kill me for slping at 4am again.

Yes, again.

Everyday again and my mind's not thinking anything anymore. Thus the lack of update. HAHA! Nights!

Labels: Family

writtern @2:31 AM

Monday, November 09, 2009

Why make things a hassle when you're the one going ahead with your own decision.

At the moment :

I'm gona kill myself for saying that i'll miss my sis as she'll be away for days to Malaysia for some trips with the school >(

I wish i'm the one who can escape now ar! Tsk!

Have fun sisssy!
Will miss ya.

writtern @9:06 PM

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Well, I dont know what my mind have been thinking about.

But on a brighter note,
I'm so excited for my 18th birthday.
Think this is the first time i feeling so over with it.
It's still more than a month away fyi.
But got that feeling feeling over things.

On the other hand,
I dont have any plans / celebrations for my coming birthday.

Nights. : )

writtern @11:18 PM

Friday, November 06, 2009

What will it take
Till you realize?
Cause you know it's killing me
To be left unseen.

Okay, you don't know that it's killing me to be left unseen.
I am unseen. Am i ?

writtern @6:09 PM

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Those birthday had over, and are 18 now.
SHUT UP!
Because you'll be in a risk if u tryna tell and tease me that u're 18!
Dont do that, not because i dont like it.

But it definitely piss me off when u had that assy tone.
So, just stfu and u'll be just fine.

For my 18th birthday wish,
I want it to pass by peacefully for the whole of 24 hrs :)

Goodnight.

writtern @11:12 PM

VENUS AND MARS.

Well, people always mentioned and know that none of the women nor men do know about each other's planet completely.

Women are from Venus while
Men are from Mars.

You may somehow know and attached with a man for 2 years or more. Take me as an example, I was attached with my ex bf for 2 yrs (including the on and off), i somehow seems to know him inside out. His habits, comes routines, comes attitude, comes character comes things that were handled by him and so on. But how come when things happen and troubles comes, it still goes on with my attitude and proceed with the mistakes we had during in the past.

We may understand, but it's just hard to compromise!

But what if their lovers are from the same planet ?
Which means, lesbian and gays?!
THEY ARE WHAT! UNDERSTAND MORE?!
ABLE TO COMPROMISE?!
Wah, then i want to have a lesbian ar!
But i oso wanna marry and have kids!
Wearing a gown and take wedding pictures!

I have never ending wish for my future!
It seems exciting to have sex with ur husband during festive season!
Going to honeymoon and enjoy every sweet little moments!
Imagine during honeymoon and no one knows you but u just know ur husband!
HOW COOL! wow .___.

Waiting for bus, queue for food with every little kiss!
Cold in a bus, freezing when it's winter and hugged from every moments!

AMAZING how love can do you.
And get you back.

Love, they're just dangerous.
But they may be the best thing on earth that happens to you.

:)

writtern @12:32 AM