listening to those memories tt eu sang to me b4.
getting back those memories ii had with you.
leaving those sadness behind. n wish to go on wif you.
want to love you. n wish to tell you on the fone.
everything. about how ii feel now.
wad im doiin now. wad ii wish for now.
all im doin is juz to wish tt you can love me back..
loving you is so hurt. ii always wanted you back. ii want you.
im reali here without you.
ii do loads of housework to get eu rid out of my mind.
it juz don help it. ii wanna go out n let mui heart out.
but ii kant. ii keep things to myself.
ii wish ii can tell you my pain.my hurt. my sadness.everything ii had.
but there is no one ii can turn to.
noe how hurt ii am at home?
noe how ii always bring the smile to myself?
wheneva ii smile. it hurts.
my tears juz make me so hurt. sourish.
it hurts me baby.
the pain im in. ii wish eu were there for me.
ii need you in my lyfe. ii need you to encourage me to smile.
to be happy. n most of all. ii need ur love to make me live on.
iim making myself mad at home. im making myself crazy all the time.
acting happi infront of mui grandma.
ii dont wanna them to be hurt. ii kant get to see my mom for a week.
ii kant tell her anithing.ii feel so stuff inside. ii wanna tears to drop.
but. ii also need ur shoulders to make me cry.
ii need ur hugs to make me feel the love ii gort from you.
even though we are back,tt doesnt mean tt you will love me. as deep as b4.
tt doesnt mean tt you will trust me. tt doesnt mean tt eu will be wif me.
tt doesnt mean tt eu will care for me. n tt doesnt mean tt eu will be there when ii need you.
it will be so diff. so so so much diff. i kant b e independent.
when ii was in india. eu are the only one hu came to my mind always.
every nite. everyday ii woke up. eu are the 1st hu came to me.
the love ii tort of it everyday.
when ii landed. eu were the 1st ii wish to see. the first ii sms.
to say ii reach singapore.
im veri touch tt you came to airport to send me there.
reali ii am. but ii kant gave eu muii last hug to tell you tt ii miss you so much.
ii kant let the others noe tt im missing eu so badly.
ii kant let you think tt im missing you. becoz eu will for sure ask me to be strong.
well. ii lie on my bed at 1am ytd.
but, ii kant get to slp. 2 hrs,, ii had been thinking bout you.
2 hrs!!!! the memories. the hurt. the love. the sadness. n of coz the happiness we had.
ii juz kant get you out of my mind. im goiin so crazy over you now.
real crazy. eu make me think of eu everyday.
eu make me sad every min. eu make mi cry wheneva im all alone.
eu don seems to be in my presence. but ii can sense eu here.
its all an illusion. im deceiving myself tt you do still love me.
im deceiving myself says tt you will be here when ii need you.
eu will msg me when eu miss me. but you dont.
ii kant msg you. ii kant call you. ii kant ask what you doin animore.
nort animore. nort as b4. nort animore!! all ii wish was. a little care.
if you do still love me. yy make it hard for me?
if you still love me. yy don eu give me a chance to make it up?
if you still love me. yy eu don wanna save this relationship?
if if if. all ii do is to hav e an if infront of all my sentences.
ii wana tell a fren hu they can feel wad im feeling.
no one can do tt. hardly anione.
you are more than wad you are thinking.
my love for you don worth tons of gold. but more than tt.
its more than the love others have.
more than anione do for you.
even if the others do. can they make you feel the same?
can you feel the way ii had for you n me?
wads love bout?
wads the relationship we are goiin on?
wads the meaning of living my lyfe without you. when there is no love existing in my life.
wads everything bout now?
nth mean to me now. nothing. oni you.
oni you.oni eu are the one. hu colours my live. make me thinks tt.
living in this world. means alort to me. having you in my lyfe.
reali brought to me laughter. n appreciate the things ii had.
eu make me understand. eu make me learn new things.
n eu tort me everything. want me to be independent.
want me to smile. n don lyk me to be sad.
wad can ii do now? ii cant do it when ii see you.
how ii wanted to see you. n smile sweetly infront of you.
somehow. ii kant baby.
wheneva ii saw you. ii wish ii can cry. ii always put on a strong smile.
it reali hurts me inside. ii can reali stop my heart beating once.
ii wish ii can slp foreva.
ii wish ii can stop my heart from beating.
ii wish ii can have cancer.
ii wish ii can give all my organs to the needy.
to those hu wants their lyfe.
but ii dont. ii don wanna feel the pain ii had now.
nort animore. becoz ii reali kant take it animore.
im dying inside. it turn to a darkness.
where im afraid being alone.
alone kills me.. it hurts me. it let me feel lyk im dying inside.
ii can even tort of being a lesbian if you don wanna me back.
ridiculous. but ii oni wish tt. ii love you. is more than wad you are thinking.
ii need you baby. =((
let me cry for all ii want.
plz. ii kant bear the pain animore.
bitch me.
freak the love ii gort for you!
XANNE-
