Learn to FORGIVE and FORGET.From young, i was taught to forgive and forget for people's wrong doings. Especially, when the bad deeds were done by anyone of my family members. Anyone.These 5 words in english, 7 words in chinese, i can never seems to forget WHEN i learnt this, WHY i started hearing it, WHERE i was taught and HOW i learnt this and not forgetting, WHO taught me this.
It was when my cousin, sis and i were quarreling over a small matter when we were at the stage of growing up. I learnt this from my uncle. He taught me a lot of things in life. He forgive and forget my bad deeds i ever done to this family. He was the one, who make me for who i am now. (Not forgetting the rest of my family members of course, just saying these words that he said made me become of who i am now)
It may be good, it may be bad. Everything has its pros and cons. I hated myself for forgiving people too easily. For forgetting for how much hurt or bad deeds they did to me. Be it family, friends or my bf that did so to me. After a nap or a sleep, i seems to be alright after all the shits i gotten.
I seems to put on a brave front, but deep down in my heart. I dont understand why am i so soft. Well even one of this family member, he never fails to hurt me all the time with his things. We always get things back tgt, then not long we're broken again. Our bond is gone, again. It's never ending.
People always tell me that no matter what, he/she is still your kin. You cant do this. I always wanted to initiate the talk, but i cant bring myself to really say hi or even call him as what i'm supposed to call. I'm too ashamed to call him/her actually. It's just that, i dont want to be taken for granted.
People dont change for a reason, but they only change when they realise it and what makes them change is whether their willingly or, not. They just love themselves too much that they bother bout your feelings superficially. In a r/s with parents, anyone or even ur bf. You can't differentiate what's wrong, what's right. All you can just say is, it takes two hands to clap.
Well, i have forgiven you deep down. But i just couldnt find any words to talk to you. Wanna text you that i'm no longer angry with you. But just wanna you really be here with me and sister. I understand how your love matters to you. Deep down, i wanted you to be mine so much. Though i cant give u want she gave, that's when i realise that even if you leave me. I wouldn't be hurt as i've let you go.
